Making Love

“You sure do write about sex a lot.”

Yes. That’s true, but I didn’t expect this. I’ve never cared much either way about sex, honestly. It’s not on my mind that often… not that you’d believe me with all this Love and Making It talk. 

But something happened to me after my second baby was born and sex has become my yoga, my running, my self-care, my way back to loving my body and learning that my “self” is more than what is just in my head. I am not just a soul or an intellect. I am a body too.  And this body is good – as good and perfectly created as my soul. Sex has become a the way I grow as a human, a Christian, a woman. My body and soul are reuniting and getting to know each other.  This is why I keep talking about sex. I believe our bodies are good for way more than short bursts of pleasure from food or quick orgasm.  Our bodies are much wiser and complicated than we give them credit for on a normal day. 

Ask anyone who has a workout they absolutely love (a runner, a yogi…) and they will tell you how that exercise brings them joy and endorphins and knowledge and self confidence and health.

Movement. Courage. Vulnerability. Fun. Play. Appreciation.

This is sex. It’s not just mechanics.  We are making love. It’s not easy, but it should be fun. And it can grow us as humans, if we let it.  Growing in the areas that make sex great, also make life great. 

The keys to great sex are trust, bravery and love. 

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Sex is complicated, for sure.  No one has been handed a clear and grace-ful sexuality. Sex can be the opposite of freeing and loving if we are not careful.  We have to fight for it. We have to trailblaze through the jungle of confusion and false messages, fears and pride, hate and power-struggles. 

This is why I’ve started the LOVE AND MAKING IT series. This is why I talk about sex. This is why I’ve invited other brave, wise people to participate and share their struggles and triumphs in this area. We need each other’s permission to process and grow. We need each other’s safe spaces. This is a safe space to become fully human – body and soul.   Everything is connected.  1,000 Strands. 

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The LOVE AND MAKING IT Series:

 

(lovely guests)

Sarah Wheeler – Beauty and the Porn Beast

Esther Emery – Wild Girls Dancing

Abby Norman – Don’t Touch My Boobs

Jennifer Upton – Naked Truth

Tara Owens – The Crowd in the Bedroom

Candice Jones – Confessions

Robin Chancer – This is Intimacy

Ellie Kay – Never Been Kissed

(from Nicole)

For You, I Will

Tonight I Can

When Your Body is a Minefield

 

With many more to come from me and from other powerful writers…

 

Tonight I Can (a quick and honest thought on sex in marriage)

LOVE and MAKING IT is a new series on sex and marriage, bodies and souls. It will be candid and sometimes messy.  It’s not just about having a great sex life; it’s about having a great body life. I want one of those.  Read at your own risk.

An Honest Prayer About Sex in Marriage

Tonight

I cannot shave

I cannot be thinner

I cannot grow or shrink my breasts

I cannot learn to dance on a lap or on a pole

I cannot be anything but me

But I can be brave and I can smile

I can kiss and I can love

I can move toward you instead of away

I can stop disqualifying myself from fun

For tonight I will to let you love me as I am in this very instant

not as I will be tomorrow or was yesterday

I can forget my age, weight, rules and responsibilities

I can decide to play for just a night with the love of my life

Tonight I can

 

 

(Addition: I sent this to my husband for his privacy-release, and his comment just made me laugh. “also, rereading your post… I get all the other things you can’t do by tonight… but why can’t you shave? That seems doable.”  yep, seems doable. I agree. but sometimes, it’s just not.)

 

An honest prayer about sex in marriage by Nicole Romero at 1000strands.com