To My Girls

I am the mom of two tween girls. It feels like we are standing at the bottom of a steep cliff, we have no choice but to climb, and all I see when I look up are sharp rocks and wild monkeys throwing poop. I am also a full-time pastor. At work, I don't just bring my heart, I also bring strategy and goals so that the people in my church will grow in leadership, spirit, and health. But when [...]

By | May 10th, 2017|Choosing Out|0 Comments

What is Kintsugi-Style Sex

Let's fix all our broken and struggling parts with gold, shall we? ***** I don't know about you, but I feel rather cracked and broken these days. I've been trying to hide and I'm done hiding. I know there's a way to fill the open places with gold rather than cheap glue; to take what is broken and make it even more beautiful through its repair.   At Love and Making It, everything connects with the most intimate parts of [...]

By | May 5th, 2017|Choosing In|0 Comments

How church can improve your sex life

Sex - vulnerable, powerful sex - gives you the chance to be laid bare. Your faith and experience of love shifts through it... Last week was Good Friday and Easter, a time of year that often calls me to deep contemplation and a distinct feeling that the line between heaven and earth is thin. So I am reminded that our bodies are an important part of our spiritual growth, and as our spirits grow our bodies heal and have more fun. Sex [...]

By | April 20th, 2017|Choosing In|1 Comment

Quickie 4

quick thoughts...to help you get in the mood for love...   The world is complicated when it comes to sex Let it go. So you shut down last night. Start over. So you feel fat. Oh well. Make a fire and burn your cares. This is your chance to bring heaven to earth for yourselves. Freedom. Love. Forgiveness. Speak love to each other. Light a candle. Close a door. Fight the darkness and separation in the world. Embrace the NEEDS [...]

By | January 27th, 2017|Choosing In|0 Comments

Get over it

Those are words I hate. Get over it.   They undermine every molecule of my being - my ENFP personality. Empathy. Therapy. Conversation. Process.  These are priceless values that bring humanity and love to every relationship. Basically, my friend, you would almost never hear me say “Get Over It.” Until NOW. If there is something in your way, GET OVER IT. Maybe it's my age. Maybe it's how much I want us all to be the vibrant, powerful creatures I [...]

By | October 13th, 2015|Choosing In, Choosing Out|0 Comments

Pique Your Curiosity

"The soul is like a wild animal — tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, and yet exceedingly shy. If we want to see a wild animal, the last thing we should do is to go crashing through the woods, shouting for the creature to come out. But if we are willing to walk quietly into the woods and sit silently for an hour or two at the base of a tree, the creature we are waiting for may well emerge, and out [...]

By | October 7th, 2015|Choosing In, Choosing Out|0 Comments

Good night’s sleep

Let's get a good night's sleep, shall we? There are endless tips about how to do this, but here are two things you can do anytime to help relax.   Our minds are so much more capable of self-care than we realize. Relaxing and focusing in on certain parts of your body will tell other systems to let down their own guard and rest. We all need rest. There are small things you can do even at work... even while [...]

By | October 4th, 2015|Choosing In, Choosing Out|0 Comments

Imagination and Kissing

 We cannot force ourselves back to life all at once like a sudden combustion, but we are never past hope. The wick is still in your heart. You can burn with passion again.   ***** Force of will turns nothing on. Candles are lit like women. With fire and focus and melting. ***** It's a magic combination of body and soul - an everyday magic between two people - that comes with focused attention on where the body and soul [...]

By | October 3rd, 2015|Choosing In|1 Comment

Touch me

I'm here. In here.  not body or soul but both - Both skin and nerves sewn to love and fears touch me, please so you can touch me We are neither angel nor animal. We can live for days as if our minds are the endless, beautiful, infinite space of creativity and spirituality. We can live for days as if our bodies are the magnetic, focused, sensory playgrounds of indulgence and physical exertion. We can choose to live on either side of the divide, [...]

By | October 2nd, 2015|Choosing In|2 Comments

CS Lewis Said Something

C.S. Lewis famously said, “You do not have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.” But he never said that. Go. Look. Read. CS Lewis did not say you are a soul and have a body. And it’s not true anyway. You do not have a soul. You are a soul. AND You do not have a body. You are a body. You are all the parts of you.  Human flourishing depends on us being completely whole soul-body-beings. [...]

By | October 1st, 2015|Choosing In, Choosing Out|1 Comment
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