I closed my eyes and spoke to you in 100 silent ways. – Rumi
Using sex as a way to temporarily satiate a craving is like gulping a fine wine or perfectly-aged scotch to quench your thirst, and then wondering why you are still thirsty and your throat has started burning.
When we are quiet and settled, we notice the profound stirrings simple physical touches wake in us: fingers intertwined, lips kissing the inside of a wrist, the bump of a fist, a hug.
When we move too quickly and desperately, we grab and suck whatever we can to calm our nerves and queasy stomachs.
We were made for more and we know it.
You were made to worship and be worshipped because of the infinite beauty and glory in you. The fast, shallow or chaotic moments most of us experience are not the way we were designed to know each other.
The original Old English marriage vows in the Common Book of Prayer…
“With this ring, I thee wed, with my body, I thee worship…”
Old English Definition of Worship: Giving honor and admiration; acknowledging worth… worth-ship.
This is not sacrilege, this is sacred. Sex is sacred – spending time on the utter appreciation of one child of God
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In making love to your spouse, are you communicating their worth, to you and to God? Are you taking in each inch of them the way you would your absolute favorite “thing” in the world? After sex with you, does your spouse feel more connected to God and more themselves in their perfectly created “naked” and “shameless” form?
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I love Degas paintings. I could pour over one; seeing the brush strokes and colors… think about what it must have been like in the room as each swash of pain hit the canvas and the images emerged.
I love great music. I could listen to a song over and over, hearing different notes and inflections of sound.
I love swimming and watching great swimmers compete. I watch the water move over their strong shoulders and the small but powerful waves forming behind each kick.
I love my husband. I could pour over every inch of him.
I love my husband. I could listen to him talk or whisper or laugh over and over again.
I love my husband. I watch him move and savor the waves his actions send around me.
When you come together with your spouse, do you use your body to its fullest capacity to speak worth and love to them? What could you start doing today to express how much worth you see in them?
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Whether you are married or not, your body is worthy of love and detailed enjoyment. We run, work, chomp some food, clean the bathroom, lug groceries, and 1,000 other things each day … but we hardly ever stop to notice our bodies unless it is to criticize them for something. We do a terrible job of loving our bodies.
For a marriage, it is vitally important for both partners to worship themselves and each other… to see worth in the beautiful creation God made them to be. We do not worship any created thing more than God. We do not give more “worth” to any created thing than the worth due the Creator… but we know that God makes good things. You are good. Every wrinkle. Every freckle. The way you smile when surprised. The way you look when you hear your favorite song… do you not think God is giddy over every single thing you do?
When we are not married…even when we are married and our spouses just don’t SEE us, we can see ourselves. We can marvel at the wiggle of our toes or the way the lines curve around hips and thighs. We can appreciate what we have been given.
Beautiful. All Beautiful.
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Poem by Tyler Knott Gregson