Tag Archives: help

Passionals Newsletter Sign Up Now

Posted on by Nicole

Love and Making It
is about to start a new season

Hey, my friend! It’s time for us to start something new together. 

At one point or another you’ve read the blog, seen me speak live, or taken an ecourse and I want to THANK YOU for that. Thank you for joining me here. Thank you for being brave enough to even start reading and thinking about how to make your life better, braver, and more beautiful … even IN bed.  This is my passion = helping you find your passion.  

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I am floored by the good work I’ve been lucky enough to see some of you do. You’ve been brave. You’ve literally changed your marriages and lives by engaging with the heart and soul of LOVE AND MAKING IT. Thank you for letting me share in a little of your awesomeness!
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I am reminded that we all need this place… even when we are busy, actually, because we are busy. We need reminders everyday to take good care of our love-lives, because it’s a strong current pulling us back to confusion, ambivalence, fear, dislike, and exhaustion.

There are so many forces pushing us away from healthy sex lives.  Health is a constant practice, we can’t work out one day and expect to be fit forever. We can’t read one good article about sex and expect our sex lives to be healthy. This is a practice. 

And so here we are, about to start a new season.  This year I have more content and more bravery of my own and I am excited to share it all with you, but you know it’s more than just the content here – it’s about action and new ways of training our thinking about our bodies. 

My goal this year {and I hope you’ll come with me} is to provide you with more hands-on activities, perspective-changing tools, and even more HOPE that your body can be a great place to live and play. 

 

Your body can be a GREAT place to live and play.

Whether you are married, single, divorced… bigger than those categories… because who wants to be limited by their relational status?… There will be camaraderie and help through Love and Making It.  

This blog will still continue to cover all kinds of things (but be warned, there will be regular talk of sex in what I hope is a healthy, loving, brave way)… BUT

It’s time to sign up for my LOVE AND MAKING IT – PASSIONAL newsletter (no spam. it’ll come out about once week) and get more indepth articles plus hear first about ecourses, books, videos, activities and more… sign up for the LOVE AND MAKING IT newsletter:  PASSIONALS á GOGO 

What is a Passional?
Part devotional. Part sex-therapist session. Part drinks with a best friend.

Who should sign up?
You. And your friends. And people who love their spouse but want more inspiration in “loving” their spouse. Women who say no to sex when they have a headache, because they don’t realize sex can cure headaches. Men who wonder why women don’t seem to love sex. People who’ve been trained how not to have sex before marriage but not how to have sex after marriage. Anyone who wants healthy, honest, fun conversations about living well in out bodies + souls.  Love and Making It is for you.

You deserve bravery + beauty + freedom in bed and out!

Sign up for a weekly, free boost of inspiration and love. Do not let another day go by where you don’t feel beautiful and you don’t look forward to making out with your spouse. Let’s do this!  You and your spouse are worthy of love and good make-out-sessions. Sign up!

You’ll be the first to hear about special eCourses and goodies too!

 

imagine the possibilities

 

Just Do It

Posted on by Nicole

This post is NOT for those who struggle in a relationship that is manipulative or abusive. This post is NOT meant to support the 1000’s of years of oppression women have endured as property or servants. It is meant as a reminder that in a healthy, mutual relationship… sometimes we need to be reminded to put on our gym shoes and get motivated.

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If you love your husband but just can’t find the motivation or desire to have sex or initiate sex, this is the most practical help I can give:

Just Do It

I know it’s not romantic. I know it’s not ideal.

We want passion and an irresistible magnetic pull towards the love of our lives, but we do not live in Outlander or Twilight or 50 Shades.  No one is writing our romance for us – in OUR lives. We have to do the work of making time to love our spouse with not just our minds but our bodies too.

Many of us spend all day basically in our heads. Our bodies serve to carry our brains around and not much else (except to eat Chipotle! Thank you, mouth!). I mean, we work hard but we do not move our bodies for pleasure or mastery of movement.

This causes a disconnect between our minds and our bodies in that we are not accustomed to a life that requires a conscious, practiced connection between body, mind, and soul.  We move minimally or with rough, uninspired, exhausted actions throughout long days.

Then, we come home and our husbands (usually, but sometimes it’s the other way around) want to make sweet love… and we are so disconnected from our body that it feels foreign, awkward, and… well, like a lot of work, to get up the energy to have sex.

BUT if they hang in there with us and push through the initial rejection (miracle!) then we kiss and kissing turns to sex… and most of the time, we are really, really glad we did have that sex.  We really love our spouse and making love to them is a good thing.

It’s a lot like going to the gym.

Sometimes you just have to do it. Get started. Put on your shoes.

You may not really feel like it, but you know it’s good for you and you’ll be happy you did it. So you start, and about 15 minutes in you find yourself enjoying it.  You feel strong and alive. Your muscles and your mind are working in unison. Then, after you are done, you are proud and you are glowing.

It’s okay to feel the same way about sex.

Sometimes you just have to do it. Get started. Put on your shoes {but this time it’s lingerie}.

You may not really feel like it, but you know it’s good for you and you’ll be happy you did it. So you start, and about 15 minutes in you find yourself enjoying it.  You feel strong and alive. Your muscles and your mind are working in unison. Then, after you are done, you are proud and you are glowing.

 

Just do it. 

Just Do IT - Love and Making It meets Nike :)(I did not make this pic, I just like it.)

Tonight I Can (a quick and honest thought on sex in marriage)

Posted on by Nicole

LOVE and MAKING IT is a new series on sex and marriage, bodies and souls. It will be candid and sometimes messy.  It’s not just about having a great sex life; it’s about having a great body life. I want one of those.  Read at your own risk.

An Honest Prayer About Sex in Marriage

Tonight

I cannot shave

I cannot be thinner

I cannot grow or shrink my breasts

I cannot learn to dance on a lap or on a pole

I cannot be anything but me

But I can be brave and I can smile

I can kiss and I can love

I can move toward you instead of away

I can stop disqualifying myself from fun

For tonight I will to let you love me as I am in this very instant

not as I will be tomorrow or was yesterday

I can forget my age, weight, rules and responsibilities

I can decide to play for just a night with the love of my life

Tonight I can

 

 

(Addition: I sent this to my husband for his privacy-release, and his comment just made me laugh. “also, rereading your post… I get all the other things you can’t do by tonight… but why can’t you shave? That seems doable.”  yep, seems doable. I agree. but sometimes, it’s just not.)

 

An honest prayer about sex in marriage by Nicole Romero at 1000strands.com